I am not an overly dramatic person, in fact, I'm usually quite the opposite, generally pretty even-keel. Now, if you know me really well, you know this is by far not always the case. Seemingly little things stress me out like losing my phone, forgetting my coupons when I go to the grocery store--yes, trivial things often get the best of me. On the other hand, I tend to be calm in what others might consider high stress situations: fender bender, speeding tickets (yes, I admit it), managing special events, responding to tragedies, etc. What tends to happen in these situations is that I am calm in the moment, emotions in check, and able to take care of what needs to be done. The stress/reality usually hits me a bit later.
Tonight I am feeling the stress of what happened (or rather didn't happen) to me & the boys earlier today.
This morning was a beautiful one, so when Levi woke from his morning nap, I decided to take both boys on a walk to our local library, which is literally two blocks away. We had never walked there before, we usually drive, but it was a nice walk on the sidewalk of Northside Drive, a busy 4 lane road in the city of Jackson. Our visit at the library was pleasant, too. When I left I thought to myself how I'm really starting to feel as if I'm a part of this community because I saw & visited with three people who are my neighbors & that I know from our church. We returned home and had lunch at about 12:30.
I didn't know until a few hours later that at around 2:00 that afternoon, a man had been shot and killed, in broad daylight, right in front of the library.
Ryan had received an email about the situation & at first was a little panicked that it might have been one of the two young men I had seen at the library, Scott or Kenyel, both of which have been in our youth group & are really like family to us. Thankfully, he was able to contact them relatively quickly to make sure they were okay.
The identity of the man is still unknown at this point, and when I first heard about this, I wasn't too shook up. This evening is a little different. I have tucked my boys into bed & am praising God that today didn't go differently: that we are all safe & that we didn't have to witness it. But I'm also saddened that someone needlessly lost their life today.
You know, most of the time I honestly feel really safe here, we live on a quiet street, we have a monitored alarm system, but the truth is, living & working in urban ministry isn't always safe. But you know what? That's okay. I know that God has called us to live & to serve here. He is sovereign, & I completely trust Him with our lives.
Thanks for letting me share my story. I needed to get it off my chest, but at the same time, I wanted to praise my Father for His provisions for my family.